Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK
Day 1, 0 miles. Toodaloo Sheffield, Mongolia here we come! X
We set off much later than planned after finalising our preparations. After making a few pit stops in Sheffield we were right on track to hit rush hour traffic on the M25. We did eventually make it down to the pre launch camping via Sainsbury's where we picked up a few beers.
Chichester, West Sussex, UK
Day 1, mileage unknown. Safe and sound in Goodwood. On the juice. Gonna sample the Mongolian vodders later. X
Once in Goodwood, the pop tent saved us a lot of hassle and we set up camp in a matter of minutes. This first night mainly involved getting really drunk and having a look at other people's cars. We thought we had come prepared, though after looking at a few cars realised there was a lot more we could have done. Oh well - still pleased with our efforts. The best car by far has got to be what can only be described as a mobile conservatory:
Dover, Kent, UK
Day 2, mileage unknown. Set a lap record round Goodwood with some impressive driving. 12v socket broken - kettle dreams are over. On the ferry to France now. X
We inevitably slept in the next morning and found that most of the teams had gone by the time we were up. The launch was round the corner at Goodwood Circuit so we got our things together and headed on over. Lots of bits and pieces going on including mongolian wrestlers - not overly impressive. It didn't look like they were trying hard enough:
Come 2 o'clock, everyone got into their cars and after completing a lap of the circuit sent eastwards:
Rich had a pot noodle on the way down to Dover courtesy of our travel kettle. This later blew the fuse for the 12v socket so we stopped using it - the wires got ridiculously hot. Upon arrival in Calais that evening we had to drive late into the night to get to somewhere around Liege in Belgium.
We thought that we were making amazing progress until we realised that the last few times we had checked the clock it had been 23:30 - it was actually now 01:50. So, realising this we set up camp in a layby. Seemed a good option until we met another team who had done the same and had had their car broken in to. Good nights sleep nonetheless.
Klingenberg am Main, Germany
Day 3, 797.1 miles. Set up camp in a lay by last night. Woke up late and had to rush to the Nurburgring for the grand prix but thankfully two former ralliers gave us an escort with their sat nav. Top speed in to wind: 65mph. We have now set up camp in a swish Campingplatz by a river. X
The following morning we smashed out the remaining miles to the Nurburgring for the grand prix. We made it their on time courtesy of a team who had previously done the rally who escorted us there with their sat nav. Struggled to keep up with them as our Micra will only do 65mph in to wind. Had to walk missions round the circuit to our seats on a grass verge. We were sat on the back straight and there was quite a bit of overtaking in to the corners we were overlooking. Very hard to follow what's going on once people start pitting though without commentary.
From here we drove on and set up camp early at a camp site by the river in Klingenberg.
We used our gas stove for the first time - pleased with the results. Got a good nights sleep and a nice German lady left us coffee for the morning.
Klenová, Czech Republic
Day 5, 1082.1 miles. Drove in a slow convoy to the castle for the czech out party. Got ridiculously intoxicated and are now very much feeling it. Off to Krakow today for another big one though. 12v: fixed. Rattle: fixed. Fridge: fixed. 3-0. X
We then had to make the Czech out party in Klenová. We were making good progress until we joined a convoy including the mobile conservatory and a reliant robin. Both very slow.
The teams we were with had also opted for some scenic route to avoid paying motorway tolls. We made it though, just in time for the party to start. It was a party in Klenová Castle, with cheap drinks - got ourselves in a bit of a state.
We had to make Kraków the following evening as we'd arranged to stay with Rich's cousin. It was a much longer drive than expected. Still feeling pretty rotten when we got there we had to get straight back on it.
Kraków, Poland
Day 6 1596.1 miles. We have been suffering badly today after having a huge night out with Rich's cousin and her friends. Beauty Pavlos. Made zero progress today as a result so are staying another night. Went and saw Rich's family. Rich ate 2 pierogi. I ate a half. Good work. X
Good night. Horrendous hangover. Went to meet the rest of Rich's family and had to lie down the majority of the time we were there. Rich battled through. I managed half a pierog and Rich managed two. We then headed back to Rich's cousins and had an earlyish night so we could hit Ukraine the following day.
Yavoriv, L'vivs'ka oblast, Ukraine
Day 7, mileage unknown. Long day driving to Ukraine. Ate some good Polish food before crossing the border. Ukrainian border was horrible. Had to go on a mission on foot in to the Ukraine for a green card after our car being searched 4 times. Asked many questions by scary border guards. They were not impressed with us or our lack of insurance. Polish got us by somehow. Bribes paid: 0. Drove in to the unknown - literally. The Micra discovered it's first proper rallying experience at the hands of Rich. Roads worse than expected. Car now rattling. Night driving with rubbish lights is not good and will not be repeated. One rally light broken. Sleeping at a motel. Thank God we're alive! X
We eventually arrived at the Ukrainian border in the evening.
We tried to buy insurance on the Polish side but this was a no go for an English car. Spoke to some people and they were of the opinion that we wouldn't get in without it unless we gave them some money. Got the low down on who to give this to to get through too. We told them we didn't have a green card and after searching our car several times were sent in to the Ukraine on foot to get one. Not particularly nice in the middle of the night. Managed to get one and after being hassled some more we were eventually allowed through. The road heading across the border is at best horrendous. Accompanied with our not so bright headlights made for hard work. Rich put the car through some serious holes when missing a sign that said the road we were on became a dual carriageway and that the lane we were in would have oncoming traffic - he then had to put it across the craters in the middle of the road to get back on the right side. The Micra survived though. After this we thought we best call it a night and stopped in the first motel we saw.
Kiev, Kyiv city, Ukraine
Day 8, 2139.1 miles. Long day driving to Kiev. Roads are a lot better than yesterday except in places. Zebra crossings on motorways and people selling fruit at the road side are common. Got stopped by police once but they checked our documentation and sent us on our way. Thought we'd treat ourselves to a hotel in Kiev after the trauma of Ukraine so far. X
The following day was a long days driving to Kiev. Lots of road police around but with oncoming traffic flashing us to warn us of their presence we were able to avoid being stopped. We were pulled in once where they checked our passports and v5 and laughed at our car. Went out for beer and food - beers were really cheap in Kiev.
Kiev, Kyiv city, Ukraine
Day 9, 2139.1 miles. Went on a tour to Chernobyl and the abandoned town of Prypriat. Kiev - good: cheap beer. Bad: food and taxi drivers. X
The following morning we got up early to go on a tour of Chernobyl and the abandoned town of Prypiat. Very weird place. Had to go through numerous checkpoints to get in. Saw the nuclear reactor that blew up and some other bits and pieces.
The best bit was probably the abandoned swimming pool in Prypiat.
It's all now very overgrown and the majority of the city has been looted. The fairground was also pretty good:
To get back out we had to be scanned for our radiation levels but thankfully we were ok.
Kharkiv, Kharkivs'ka oblast, Ukraine
Day 10, 2435.7 miles. Clutch gone + garages shut on Sunday = stuck in Kharkiv. After passing a team this morning whose clutch had gone and being told that our rattling sound sounded like the rattling sound they had had, we ignored their advice to have it checked out and pressed on. The clutch went 4 hours later. Thankfully two locals towed us to a hotel where we're staying before hopefully getting it fixed tomorrow. X
We then overslept again the next day as we planned to head towards Russia. Met another team at the road side who had broken down. Their clutch had gone. We told them of our rattle and they told us it sounded like their rattle had been and in the same place. We did not heed their advice to have it checked out and pressed on. Low and behold our clutch went. We heard a loud sound and the pedal dropped to the floor. Thankfully the second car that passed us stopped to help us out. Two friendly Ukrainian guys rang a few garages but nowhere was open. They then towed us to a hotel nearby and arranged for them to call a mechanic for us in the morning. Absolute heroes - good job we broke down where we did!
Antratsyt, Luhans'ka oblast, Ukraine
Day 11, 2700ish miles. The Hotel's owner and son, Tolek, sorted us out with a mechanic this morning. They negotiated something we didn't understand and took us to their mechanic. Legends. Collected our car around 5 o'clock and pushed for the border. We've now stopped in a motel for the night near the Russian border. The car sounds as though it's going to rattle apart. Not good. Getting up early and hitting Russia tomorrow. X
The hotel's owner and son (Tolek) arranged for our car to be fixed. We took it to some back alley garage after lengthy negotiations which we did not understand.
Tolek took us there and back a couple of times and then pointed us in the right direction for the Russian border. He also gave us one of his rap CD's. This put us very much behind schedule meaning we'd need to put a lot of driving hours in. We pressed on late in to the night looking for a suitable place to stop. Eventually found a place close to the Russian border and stopped there for the night.
Volgograd, Volgogradskaya oblast, Russia
Day 12, 2996.7 miles. Hit the Russian border early this morning - hassle free crossing - didn't even look in the car. Driven long all day and spent ages driving round Volgograd to find somewhere to stay. Got a balcony looking over the town square. We've had it pretty good so far. X
We got up early to hit the Russian border. It took a little while to get through though was very much hassle free. We met a couple of guys who were doing the Mongolia Rally in a Nissan Nivara. They had to stop to pick up some bits and pieces once through the border so we pressed on a bit. Good roads in Russia though people were overtaking on the central reservation!
We stopped for some food at a little cafe. We got pushed in front of countless times and once at the front could not read the menu. We ended up buying some horrible bread and some donuts. The team at the border caught us up and we carried on to Volgograd together.
We spent a couple of hours driving round Volgograd looking for a hotel. Eventually we found one though and went for pizzas and beer. There were lots of other rally teams at the hotel so we arranged to meet for breakfast and convoy in the morning.
Astrakhan, Astrakhanskaya oblast, Russia
Day 13, 3271.1 miles. Lots of Mongol ralliers at our hotel last night. Went in a 5 car convoy to Astrakhan ready to hit Kazakhstan tomorrow. X
Set off in a big convoy for Astrakhan. We stopped to see The Motherland Calls - a statue commemorating the Battle of Stalingrad:
It took forever to get out of Volgograd having to wait every time the convoy got split up. Lots of the cars were getting stopped though we managed to get away without being stopped once. We stopped for petrol in Astrakhan and a policeman pointed us in the direction of a hotel by the river.
Seemed to be quite the tourist destination with lots of people rollerblading round. We went out to a Japanese restaurant where the food took forever to come. When we headed back to the hotel there were lots of people out showing off their Lada's blasting out loud music, pulling hand brake turns and wheel spinning them. Weird place.
We flipped a coin on who's call it was on whether to go to Turkmenistan or not. I won which meant we were going regardless of the state of the car:
Atyrau, Kazakhstan
Day 14, 3412.5 miles. Fixed the bad rattle on our car this morning. Went to Kazakhstan today - lots of teams at the border. Rich got asked for presents in the form of binoculars and a whistle. Presents given: 0. The roads have reached a new low. Looking for Borat in Atyrau now. X
Got up early to fix the rattle on the car. The policeman who had pointed us in the direction of the hotel turned up in the morning. He pointed us in the direction of Kazakhstan after getting photos with him.
We drove on towards the border - went over an awful toll bridge/float thing:
Eventually made it to the border though had to wait as they were on their lunch break. Once in the Kazakh border compound Rich had to go sort out the car paperwork. He was asked for binoculars and a whistle to get the v5 back. Rich persisted with his refusal and we were eventually sent on our way in to Kazakhstan. By this point there were lots of teams at the border where we bought insurance before driving to Atyrau. The roads got a lot worse and camels started to appear:
Once in Atyrau, after some time we found somewhere to stay. We went out for Shashlik and beers before having an early night.
Sayötesh, Kazakhstan
Day 15, 3868.4 miles. Long day driving. Seen lots of camels walking across the road. Spent the last 5 hours at slow speeds on a dirt track. The sump guard is Well 'n Truly Baatared. Didn't think this road would go on this long. Camping out in the middle of nowhere with two other teams. X
So we set of for Aqtau. Ambitiously we thought we could get there in a day. The road from Atyrau to Beyneu was really very good so we made some decent progress. The road from there was something we had not envisaged. In the Lonely Planet it was marked as a broken line saying it was an unsealed road. On our main map it was down as a main road so we were hoping for the best. The road was terrible. Pot holes everywhere, dust kicking up, ruts, caterpillar-like tracks. We were travelling so slowly.
The pictures and videos really don't do justice to the bad state of the 'road'.
The car smashed against the ground countless times as we hit various holes. Two other teams (El Nino and The Lone Rangers) who we'd met at the border caught us up just before sun set. We decided not to drive on through the night and instead set up camp in the desert.
Aqtau, Kazakhstan
Day 16, 4087.3 miles. The dirt track went on for another 4 hours. Had a premature victory coke when we hit tarmac. It lasted for around 2 minutes before the dirt track went on for another 2 hours. Number plate fell off. Bribe paid for not having number plate: 15 dollars. Not a nice policeman. X
Now in convoy, we carried on along the terrible road. When we next stopped we realised our rear number plate had fallen off. We pressed on and eventually hit tarmac after 4 hours. There was elation from all three cars. We got out, the other boys were lying on the floor. At this point we had no water left. We had a can of Coke and a can of Sprite. Drank the Coke. We then drove on for a matter of minutes hanging out the windows before hitting the dirt track again.
At this point we no longer knew how long to expect it to go on for. The lonely planet showed that we should have been on a good road by now. Instead it went on and on.
The dirt track finally finished in Shetpe. A massive relief and there was finally somewhere to buy water. Our cars were all now rattling a lot more than they had been before. One of the other teams took theirs to a mechanics to have it checked out. They hit it with a hammer for a bit - nothing changed. The road was now good and we made it to Aqtau in the evening.
Upon entering Aqtau we were stopped by a policeman who spotted our lack of number plate. We had a temporary piece of card board with it written on in the back window at the time. He took our passports and sat me in his car demanding money. I tried to pretend I didn't understand what he was saying. This went on until he started to move off in his car with me in it. At this point I got my wallet out and gave him the $15 that were on show. Satisfied he gave us our passports back and sent us on our way.
We found a small hotel before starting drinking. It was Tommo's birthday (one of the guys from El Nino). We got chicken at the restaurant outside the hotel. Carried on drinking. We gave Tommo a small bottle of vodka. He threw up. The restaurant wasn't happy and threatened to call the police unless we paid for the clean up. After a while we obliged before heading out to Guns 'n Roses. We had a good night from what I can remember.
No mans land between Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan
Day 17, 4228.4 miles. Drove to the Turkmen border today. Our improv number plate must be doing the job as when stopped by police today they did not mention it. Dirt track for last 40km to border. Rich christened the toilet seat. Got pictures with Kazakh border guards. Set up camp in no mans land as Turkmen border closed till 9 tomorrow. X
In the morning, hungover from the night before I made a number plate out of cardboard, paper and Sellotape:
We were stopped by police again for overtaking on a solid line in town. We played dumb and they let us go.
It started to get really hot, so much so that you could push the tarmac in with your finger.
The last 40km to the border was along another dirt track nearly as bad as the first. En route Rich christened the toilet seat.
We made the Kazakh border and were told it was closed. Despite this they let us in. We went through the same old process of the cars owner having to go sort out all the paperwork while the passengers cruised through. Rich was asked for $100 so all the cars could be let through without them being searched. He told them to search them. They didn't.
The border guards then became friendly and posed for pictures with us:
After making it through the Kazakh side we realised what they were trying to tell us was that the Turkmen side was closed. As such, we set up camp in no mans land.
Belek, Turkmenistan
Day 18, 4494.1 miles. Spent 3 hours at the Turkmen border while the guards filled out endless paperwork. We then drove on all day stopping for numerous police checkpoints. Full tank of petrol: £4.50. The roads are worse than expected. We've now set up camp at the roadside. X
It was weird waking up in no mans land. You could see the Turkmen border guards swinging their AK's round like golf clubs. We spent a good 3 hours at the border filling out endless paperwork before being let through. The border guards were all very friendly and helpful despite the repetitiveness of it all.
The roads up to Bekdash were rocky/sandy tracks. El Nino managed to get their car stuck courtesy of Jacek's driving
Here we bought a full tank of petrol for the grand sum of £4.50 - bargain. It would have been even cheaper had we of had local currency. From here on the roads started to improve though which was a relief. Throughout the day we were stopped at numerous police/army checkpoints. They would write down all our passport details and check that we were on our planned route. After around the 2nd checkpoint it all began to get a little tedious. In all the offices there were lots of pictures of the president like some sort of propaganda - very weird. As we entered Turkmenbasy we were told by police officers that we would need to clean our cars - we ignored this proposal. We bought supplies and carried on our way before setting up camp by the roadside in Belek as it was already dark.
Ashgabat, Turkmenistan
Day 19, 4832.7 miles. Drove to Ashgabat. The road was flooded at one point. Sat it out while it drained for it. Went for it and the Micra struggled through. Felt like we were floating at one point. At the second deeper crossing we got a tow off a passing truck. Pulled us through no problem. The car is rattling again. Just had pizza and now staying at an American ladies lush apartment. X
We were making good progress until we hit a section of road that was flooded:
After watching a couple of cars get stuck we decided it was too deep to take on. It seemed like this could be a make or break moment. We spoke to a few locals who told us that it would take an hour or so to drain enough for us to comfortably get through. They told us there was another section of flooded road 1km further on that was worse too. There was a guy there that spoke English. He told us that this sort of thing only occurred once every three years or so. Just our luck. He also told us of the riots in London as he had unrestricted internet access (unlike most people in Turkmenistan). We had a pot noodle while we waited and watched other cars try their luck. There was some sort of digger at the side of the road that we thought might do something but that wasn't its' purpose unfortunately.
After a while we put gaffa tape round the doors and went for it. We struggled through and at times it felt like the car was floating. Nonetheless we made it. Like we were told, there was a worse section further on. Fearing we wouldn't make it as we'd floated the first time we decided to try get somebody to tow us. El Nino and The Lone Rangers went for it and waited on the other side. We held our tow rope out and luckily the second truck that went past accepted our proposal. We also decided to take the sump guard off as it felt as though it had acted as a hydrofoil in the first flood crossing.
Once we got to Ashgabat we had no luck in finding somewhere to stay. We spotted a pizza house and decided to get food and sort accommodation out later. When walking across the road you could see everyone's footprints from the dust we'd picked up in the desert. By this point we were pretty filthy.
While eating an American lady (Nikki) came and offered us her floor to stay on. She gave us directions and we went there after supper. Driving through Ashgabat at night was amazing. There are so many incredible marble buildings that were all lit up at night.
Nikki had a huge apartment. She had a couple of spare beds, sofas and enough floor space for the rest of us. We drew lots for the beds and both Pooch and I lost. Nikki had also bought us lots of food and drink. After camping out the last few days it was literally amazing. She also had access to unrestricted TV and internet as she worked for Peace Corps. We were all literally mesmerised by coverage of the riots on TV.
Darvaza, Turkmenistan
Day 20, 5031.8 miles. Went and had our clutch adjusted at a mechanics - it's not looking good. Stopped by police again - gave him cigarettes to get off our backs. Eventually got to near the 'gates of hell' at night. Left the cars at the roadside and walked through the dessert for an hour at night to find it. Actually unbelievable. Amazing sight and so very hot. Got a lift back to the cars and are now camping out. X
In the morning, Nikki cooked us all breakfast before going to work. We followed her to work where she got her driver to take us to a mechanics to get our cars checked out. Along the way we were further impressed by Ashgabat's architecture. They even had air conditioned bus stops!
The mechanic gave our car the once over and adjusted our clutch. He told us that there was nothing left on it and it would only make it if we drove very carefully.
We got on the road much later than planned. Nikki's driver gave us directions to the fire pit though he was of the same opinion as a few other Turkmen's we had met that said it had been put out. The fire pit was the main reason we had all come to Turkmenistan and so decided to go find out for ourselves.
Another policeman stopped us on our way, this time for having our lights on. He kept us there for quite some time until we gave him a pack of cigarettes. Satisfied with this he sent us on our way.
We got to where we thought the fire pit was at night. With vague directions from the lonely planet and Nikki's driver we struggled to find it. We bumped in to a Canadian team who seemed to know where it was so we decided to walk there. Once we'd parked up you could see the glow of the fire pit even though we were over a mile away. Although the desert looked flat there turned out to be many sand dunes we had to go up and down. After an hour and a half's walk we eventually got there where we bumped in to Craig and Ryan who we'd been with at the Czechout party. The fire pit was unbelievable. The heat from it was unreal.
Tommo took a dump at the side of the fire pit and then decided to throw it in. The immense heat from the fire pit lifted it up and brought it straight back towards us. The eight of us shifted pretty fast.
We also threw in a pack of playing cards and a book.
As we were considering heading back a jeep pulled up. We decided we'd ask the guy to give us a lift back. It turned out the people the guy was dropping off was the third car in El Nino's and The Lone Rangers' convoy who they'd had to leave behind in Moldova. The BGD had driven 96 hours straight in order to catch them up. It was quite the reunion for them.
Nukus, Uzbekistan
Day 21, 5239.4 miles. Just made the Uzbekistan border before it closed. Got some money exchanged on the black market in some persons flat. We are now wedged. Lot's of locals around. Rich got drunk with a randomer who then made him pay for the courtesy. Set up camp in the dessert. X
We had a BBQ in the desert in the morning before heading off towards the border. Luckily we arrived at the border just before it closed and we were the last cars they let in. The Turkmen border was again time consuming as we had to fill out countless paperwork again. We then proceeded to the Uzbekistan where our cars were given a good search before we were let through. We decided we would go in to Nukus to get money and beers before camping outside the city. We stopped outside an apartment block where someone said they could exchange money for us. He took a few of us to his apartment where we sat on the floor round a table. Top gear was on the TV in Russian. He proceeded to get a carrier bag of money out to exchange for our dollars. The amount of money we got for our dollars seemed to be silly with each of us with a big pile all wrapped in elastic bands.
When we returned to meet the others there were a lot of people around our cars. Kids were jumping all over them singing songs.
I proceeded in to the shop to buy beers where Rich and Kumara were drinking with the locals.
They had a bottle of vodka between them thinking the local was treating them. Unfortunately for them this was not the case. It turned out it was the town drunk who then refused to pay for the bottle. Once they'd pay for it the drunk insisted he kept the rest of the bottle which definitely was not happening.
We then went through yet another police checkpoint to leave the city before setting up camp and getting smashed.
Bukhara, Uzbekistan
Day 22, mileage unknown. Very long day driving. Everywhere takes twice as long to get to as expected. Queues for petrol are silly. X
We spent a long day driving to Bukhara. The roads weren't as good as we'd expected and it took us a long time.
There was an apparent petrol shortage in Uzbekistan and as we arrived at many petrol stations the queues were enormous.
We met another team who were doing a different rally who needed to borrow our air compressor. We stopped to let them use it before pressing on to Bukhara.
We eventually arrived there late at night so decided to stop in a hotel. We got our first taste of Uzbek dumplings and had a few beers before turning in for the night.
Samarkand, Uzbekistan
Day 23, 5760.7 miles. Spent today looking round sights in Bukhara and driving to Samarqand. Getting drunk now before getting up for sunrise at the temple tomorrow. X
We spent the morning looking round The Ark - a massive fortress in Bukhara.
We then spent a while driving round looking for an internet cafe and getting lunch.
Eventually we set off for Samarqand.
As we'd set off quite late, a large chunk of this was driven at night. There were so many people walking along the motorway. One man was even riding his bike by the central reservation in the wrong direction. These people seemed fearless. It meant you had to concentrate quite hard even when the road was reasonably good.
We found a nice hostel right by The Registan. It was cheap and cheerful and we parked our cars pretty much inside.
We then got beers from the supermarket and played drinking games in the main square. The police eventually came and told us that we had to move on though it was already late so we went back to the hostel.
Chinaz, Uzbekistan
Day 24, mileage unknown. Missed sunrise. Did some sight seeing before hitting the road. Lots of people cycling and walking the wrong way down a dual carriageway. Camped up near Tashkent for the night before round 2 of Kazakhstan tomorrow. X
I woke up several times when my alarm went off though eventually decided to ignore it. We missed the supposedly epic sunrise which admittedly was no real surprise. After we finally got up we had some breakfast before taking a look round The Registan, The Bibi-Khanym Mosque and the bazaar where we bought Uzbek hats.
We drove towards the border and decided to stop near Tashkent where we found a nice little camp spot by a stream.
Locals arrived in a tractor in the middle of the night so we spied on them. Once they left we investigated what they'd been doing but found no clues.
Jambyl Province, Kazakhstan
Day 25, 6279.0 miles. Went to a closed border this morning and had to backtrack 2 hours to another one. Spent 4 hours there refusing to pay bribes. Stopped for burgers earlier and have driven late in to the night. X
We got up early to drive to the border. The Uzbek's didn't return in the night so our spy mission had been pointless. We drove to the border North of Tashkent to find that it was closed. There were lots of kids around and Jamie gave one a pen. He then proceeded to pester us for more things and tried to get us to swap money at a stupidly bad rate. Jamie took his pen back.
From here, we drove back to pretty much right where we'd started the day to another border crossing. It took a short time to leave Uzbekistan but once again the Kazakh border guards proved to be corrupt. Upon entering the first border guard asked "where's my present?". No present given. Our own paperwork was sorted out fairly quickly. It was the car documentation that as always took a while. Rich and Mace went in to a room where a guard demanded $20 to fill out the customs declaration. They politely refused. After being sent away and coming back countless times he eventually gave in once Bez had told him they were students (an hour or so later).
Finally in Kazakhstan we carried on to Shymkent where we went to use the internet and get food. After a couple of hours and after getting supplies, we drove out of the city and drove late in to the night to make a dent into the following days drive to Almaty.
Almaty, Kazakhstan
Day 26, 6600ish miles. Drove none stop to Almaty. Went to KFC. Found a bed for the night and having a big one tonight. X
It was one of the longest days driving we did to make it to Almaty.
We arrived in the chaos of the city late in the day. On the way to find somewhere to stay an American guy said he'd take us to KFC. We got our priorities right and followed him.
From here we went to find somewhere to stay though our first few choices were full. We went to The Intercontinental for help and they pointed us in the direction of somewhere relatively cheap.
After scrubbing up we hit the town. The first club we went to was closed but undeterred we tracked down another one. It wasn't the best place in the world though we all got ridiculously drunk and had a good time. On the way home we had trouble with the taxi driver as apparently Rich had broken the door.
Almaty, Kazakhstan
Day 27, 6600ish miles. Got up at 4pm. Tragic hangover. Today's been a write off. Went to a pub for food and going out again tonight. X
We woke up in the afternoon with tragic hangovers. We mustered up the energy to go to the english pub next door to get some food though it didn't go down particularly well.
After many more hours recovering we decided it would be rude not to go out again. Some of the boys we were traveling with had arranged to meet up with another team who were staying in their friends house with a pool. We hailed down a couple of local cars and set off to try and find them. We spent the best part of 40 minutes driving up and down a main road trying to find them with little success. We couldn't understand the driver and he couldn't understand us. We left the taxi and just as we were about to give up, found the place we were looking for.
We had a little swim in the pool before hitting the Guns 'n Roses bar down the road. It was a good night.
Somewhere in Kazakhstan
Day 28, 6823.1 miles. Finally made it out of Almaty. Saw a horrific car crash happen in front of us. One very lucky lady to be alive. On our way North towards Semey. Amazing scenery. X
After many hours faffing around we finally left Almaty. The girls who had been staying at the pool house got their friends driver to escort us out of the city. It was so helpful as we usually spent forever driving round trying to get on the right road out of the city.
Later that day we were driving along a motorway of sorts when a car passed us at speed. The lady driving hit the central reservation before veering in front of one of the cars in our convoy. She was the skidding sideways before her car spun back into the central reservation hitting a tree and then rolling over onto the other side of the road. Luckily nothing was coming the other way. We immediately pulled over and ran over to help her. Her dog ran away pretty sharpish. It was weird running towards a car thinking of the worst that could have happened. When we got there she was climbing out crying, though thankfully ok with only a few cuts and bruises.
Somewhere in Kazakhstan
Day 29, 7052.1 miles. Drove on a few miles to a lake in the middle of nowhere. Had a swim and now camping by its' side. X
Seeing a lake on the map (Lake Sasyqkol) we decided to head for it. It didn't seem the most touristy of places when we got close and upon asking locals they didn't really seem to know where it was. We drove around in various directions for a couple of hours before finally we found a dirt track that we thought led to the lake. Thankfully it did.
We arrived at the lake and there were some local fishermen there. They took some of the guys out on their boats and the rest of us went for a swim. One of them even gave Kumara a fish which he later cooked on the fire. Later on we followed the usual drill of getting drunk.
Somewhere in Kazakhstan
Day 30, 7194.4 miles. Slept in and some fishermen gave us fish in the morning. Stayed by the lake and drove on a few miles later on. X
The fishermen we'd met the day before brought us a massive bag of fish in the morning - far too many fish for us. We spent the morning lazing by the lake eating fish and decided late in the afternoon to carry on. We carried on for a few miles and got some amazing chicken from a local cafe. The place we camped had clearly had other ralliers stop there on their way.
Semey, Kazakhstan
Day 31, 7400ish miles. Drove to Semey. Got supplies and camped out getting smashed in the woods. Awesome. X
We had an early start and drove to Semey. We stopped in the town to get supplies and use the internet quickly. When we left it was already dark so we struggled to find a camp spot. After some time we found an ideal spot in the woods shortly out of town. We set up camp and knowing we wouldn't be moving the next day had another big one.
Semey, Kazakhstan
Day 32, 7400ish miles. Not moved today. Still camped out. Hopefully we'll make tracks tomorrow. X
I spent the day in bed feeling ill. Rich spent the day playing Pokemon. Not a great day really. Some of the other guys built a shelter in the woods and had another night on the beers.
Barnaul, Russia
Day 33, 7699.8 miles. Back in Russia. Trouble free border crossing. Good roads again. Went out for burgers in Barnaul. X
The BGD's v5 arrived in the morning which we'd been waiting for. As soon as they got back from Semey with it we headed for the border. The border was trouble free and once inside Russia again the roads were good. We got dumplings at a little shop by the border.
We went to Barnaul where we were to have a final meal together as a group as Mace of The BGD was going home for a resit. We went to the People's Bar and Grill and it was nice to have some good food again. Mace then had to leave as he was getting his flight from Novosibirsk.
We went to the train station where I stayed in the waiting rooms with a bed and Rich got a sofa. I wish I'd of had the sofa. A guy was watching TV till the early hours of the morning which wasn't ideal. But to make matters worse there was another guy snoring in the most annoying manner I've ever heard - it was unbelievably loud.
Somewhere in Russia
Day 34, 8041.8 miles. Rubbish night sleep at the train station. Drove towards Mongolia. Amazing road. Stopped to play football in the mountains. X
In the morning the guy that had been snoring left quite early. However, another guy soon woke up and started chatting really loudly to his mate. When he left the guy turned some Russian music on on his phone. Not cool.
We waited for Buzz and Bez to arrive back from Novosibirsk after dropping Mace off and then headed on towards Mongolia. The road was amazing driving by the side of a river with amazing scenery.
A policemen decided to stop us later on pretty much so he could practice his English. We chatted about footballers and he was very happy that Arshavin and Pavlyuchenko both played in London. He tried to get his partner to practice her English too though she wasn't really interested.
In the same town we stopped to play football as there was a football pitch. The back drop to the pitch was beautiful.
We had a quick wash in an ice cold river and drove on into the night.
Realising the road would be better to drive in the day as it was meant to be very picturesque we stopped for the night in a farmers field.
Tsagaannuur, Mongolia
Day 35, 8190.5 miles. Got up early to drive to the Mongolian border. Spent 9 hours there before finally getting in to Mongolia. Real test starts now - roads non-existent. Bought beers and vodders and camping waiting for the rest of the convoy to get through tomorrow. X
So, we woke up at the crack of dawn so that we could be near the front of the queue at the border. Driving the road in the day time was most certainly worth it as the scenery was spectacular.
When we arrived at the border a couple of hours later there were already a lot of teams there who had camped over night. The border had just opened and we joined the other teams walking back up the road to a customs office we'd all missed to get our passports checked. When we were finally near the front of the queue to get into the Russian side of the border the guards went on their lunch break.
When we were finally let in they gave our car a good going over and we had to wait some time to get a piece of paper that nobody had been given. Once out of the Russian side of the border we headed through no mans land for several miles. There was a check point before getting into the Mongolian side and as soon as we did the tarmac turned to dirt track. A sign of things to come for sure. We got to a final check point where we changed some dollars for local just incase and were let into the Mongolian side of the border.
Here, again our passports took moments to be processed. However, getting the car paperwork sorted was not so simple. It took hours. We were the last car to leave the border at the end of the day. Unfortunately El Nino and The BGD were not so luck and had to be put in 'the pen' for the night before having their paperwork processed in the morning.
We headed off up the road to the local shop to meet back up with The Lone Rangers. Here we bought supplied of food, beers and vodka and headed just out of town for the night to wait for the rest of the convoy.
Olgii, Mongolia
Day 36, 8274.5 miles. Waited at the border playing football and basketball with local kids. Watched a goat get skinned. Drove to Olgiy. Drunk guy grazed our car. Drunk guy phoned police. Claimed wife was driving car and it was our fault. Not true. Went to the police station. Drunk guy failed breathalyser test. Was asked for a final time who was driving their car - pointed at drunken guy - drunken guy locked up for night. Our car impounded till he can give a sober statement tomorrow. Woman that translated was a life saver. Staying at a ger camp tonight. X
We gave ourselves a lie in in the morning. Rich went fishing but got told he wasn't allowed by a guy on a horse. We went back to the border to see where the other two cars were up to. There didn't seem to be much going on and a border guard told us to get away from the fence. So we went off to the local cafe for dumplings. When we got back to the cars there were a few children around. We started having a kick about with them. The number of children gradually grew and grew. We moved over to where they had a basketball and by it's side we watched a local skin a goat.
After several hours wait the other two teams were finally let into Mongolia. Keen to make up for lost time we hit the road. We decided it would be better to take on the tracks at speed as the vibrations were unbearable. The only downside to this is that if we were to hit a bigger hole, we'd hit it at speed which could spell disaster.
On the way to Olgii we surprisingly hit a fairly long stretch of tarmac just before entering the city. El Nino had suffered a puncture so we stopped so they could change their wheel. We agreed that we would go into Olgii, get petrol and supplies and leave as quickly as possible. Upon entering Olgii we got petrol and were on our way to the supermarket when we heard a car beeping behind us. He continued to tail us and beep. We pulled over and he drove passed us extremely slowly staring at us. The driver then turned into us. A little in shock we stopped and waited in the car a few minutes. We then got out and he came over screaming at us. He was trying to ask us who was driving though we refused to tell him as he was getting aggressive. He pushed Hamish and then grabbed Bez by the throat. He then went off in another car. We asked a local where he'd gone and he informed us he'd gone to get the police. A moment later, a lady drove passed and asked us if we needed any help. It turned out to be Akhmaral who runs a Ger Camp in Olgii and was catering for Mongol Ralliers. Thankfully she agreed to stay with us and translate.
When the police arrived they took lots of measurements. The man who had been driving claimed that his wife had been. This however was not true as he'd been the one staring at us and his car was right hand drive. The police then escorted me in our car to the police station to take a statement.
Inside the police station, there was lots of shouting going on. I did not have a clue what was being said. The man and his wife were both on their phones ringing lots of people. It all seemed a little bit dodgy. The policeman then took a statement from us all. We were then required to take a breathalyser test. I went first and blew 000. His wife then took the test though despite not doing it properly first she too blew 000. The guy who had been driving finally blew 270. I have no idea what this is but I presume he was far too drunk to drive. The policeman then asked me again who had been driving their car and I said that it had been him. He asked me to make it explicit and I pointed at the drunken guy. He then emptied his pockets and was taken to the cell for the night.
I could hear a whole lot of arguing ensue in the corridor and was then asked to get Rich so he could too could give a statement. We were then told that our car would have to be impounded for the night so that the drunken guy could give a sober statement in the morning and they could make a decision on whose fault the accident had been.
With no car, we decided to stay at Akhmaral's Ger Camp. There was only Kumara outside when we exited the police station so we told him that we'd see him and the other boys in Ulaanbaatar as it wasn't worth them hanging around. The Ger Camp was perfect with comfy beds, hot showers, food and drink - just what we needed.
We were having a beer in the restaurant when Akhmaral came in to tell us that she was back off into town to get another group of 10. We decided it couldn't have been the other guys as there was only 9 of them now Mace had left. When Akhmaral returned we were glad to hear their voices outside and went out to meet them. They had decided to stick with us and the Mongol Rally manager for Olgii had sent them here. Akhmaral then cooked us an amazing dinner of goulash, rice and salad.
We would definitely recommend staying there if you were there in the future. Akhmaral's company is called "Bear Vally" Tour and her email's: ako_s2001@yahoo.com. They also offer all sorts of tours in the local area which unfortunately did not have time to do.
Khovd, Mongolia
Day 37, 8413.9 miles. Drunk guy admitted charges eventually. The Micra is taking the rough tracks and stream crossings in her stride. X
Akhmaral took us back to the police station in the morning via the airport. She was dropping off another couple there whose ambulance had broken down. They gave us rather a lot of food that they wouldn't be able to take with them. At the airport we met the Mongol Rally manager for Olgii, who told us we had nothing to worry about. He told us he'd spoken to the policeman and that everything was ok. So, off to the police station we went. Here we found out that they'd decided to take our side as the drunk man had admitted to driving under the influence of alcohol. However, after this the policeman let the drunken guy go look at the damage that had been done to his car. He then wanted money from us for the damage. A few brief words were exchanged between him and Akhmaral and then his problem apparently disappeared. We went back to the policeman who said he was happy we'd reached a mutual agreement and paid him £5 or so for our car staying there over night. The drunken guy probably paid the police off as he was able to drive his car away too.
We then inspected the damage to our car which we found to be minimal.
We then went back to Akhmaral's Ger Camp to meet up with the others. We then got directions from Akhmaral before thanking her and getting on our way. She had been an absolute lifesaver and we probably would of been in a whole lot more trouble if it hadn't of been for her.
On the road again we pressed on to make up for more lost time. We were driving along and at the side of the road we spotted this guy with an eagle.
He let us all hold it.
Later on in the day we came across our first minor stream crossing in Mongolia which we went through with ease. A little further down the road and we came across a whole load of Mongol Rally cars. It was another small stream crossing. However, there was a team with a Citroen Saxo there that had taken a slightly deeper route and had flooded their engine. Fortunately for us lots of other teams had learned from their mistakes and found a slightly better route. A German team were helping other teams out with their sand ladders as apparently the drop into the water wasn't great.
Keen to keep up the pace we carried on and eventually hit another river crossing. Here we had been diverted from a bridge that was in an ill state of repair. Not wanting to risk our cars through the river we decided to take the bridge.
Some time later we finally made it to Khovd. El Nino thought their car was dripping oil so they sprinted off to a mechanics. We followed slightly behind and came across another mechanics. Here, we found what can only be described as a grave yard for Mongol Rally cars.
We then went to the mechanics El Nino were at. Here we met some other teams who told us of the road ahead. They told us of cars heading out on it and then having to come back to Khovd to get their cars modified with bigger springs and sump guards as they were not capable of the task in hand. This road became known as 'The Gauntlet'. It was meant to be the worst section of road on the rally and would supposedly take 2 days to complete. With this in mind we enquired about getting bigger springs. We were told it could take a couple of days so decided not to bother.
We then bought petrol and alcohol and waited a little while while El Nino tried to buy a spare wheel. By this time it was already very dark though we headed a few miles out of town to set up camp. It was Kumara's birthday so we all got suitably intoxicated. The nights were becoming increasingly cold with clear skies. With a new moon however, the stars were incredible. Later in the night we saw a convoy of Hummers with ridiculously bright lights on their cars taking on The Gauntlet at night. Risky business I'm sure.
Darvi, Mongolia
Day 38, 8536.6 miles. Got towed through a river. Slow progress with awful roads. First successful rolling driver change. X
We allowed ourselves to sleep in a little to settle the hangover from the night before. The Mongol Rally manager for Khovd had told us the day before that the road was ok for a little while before hitting a river crossing and then getting worse for quite some time before improving again. From this advice the road was as expected. We made up a lot of ground in the morning as we could maintain a reasonable speed on the sand tracks. We then hit the expected river crossing. They were building a bridge though it was not yet complete. We got a truck to tow us through. I messed up losing the tension in the rope and letting it go under the car. However, the Micra was unfazed and turned on without any problems once we were through.
On the other side we faced a small stream crossing.
I then hit a massive rock in the road. A small panic as there was something dripping from under the car though thankfully it turned out to be water from the river that was still draining and we were able to carry on.
The road did then become extremely bad. We were now definitely in The Gauntlet though the scenery wasn't bad.
We drove on expecting our car to break at any moment. However, as we had been told the road did ease up eventually and we were back to driving on fairly decent tracks. We performed our first rolling driver change where Rich climbed out of the driver window and over the roof and back in through the passenger side. I at the same time slid over and took over driving. With the sun about to set we stopped for the night and had a game of football.
Delger, Mongolia
Day 39, 8771.9 miles. Made good progress. Picked up some speed - roof rack snapped off. Tyre now ratchet strapped to roof. X
We had a very early start in the morning and hit Altai much sooner than expected. Here we waited around while El Nino bought a new tyre. We went and bought petrol and saw this lady drive her car into a ditch.
We bought supplies and headed on.
Driving at high speed to avoid the vibrations from the ruts we started to here a squeaking sound. We initially thought it was the door but when we stopped we found that the back roof bar had snapped off.
We quickly disposed of it.
Then put one spare wheel in the boot and ratchet strapped the other to the roof.
We carried on a little further before stopping for the night and playing another game of football.
Somewhere in Mongolia
Day 40, 8975.5 miles. Biggest river crossing yet - tractor towed us through. Potentially last night camping so stocked up on beer. X
Had another very early start to get some miles under our belts. The tracks were gradually improving. We drove along a lot of sand tracks that we could really pick up some speed on.
Tommo decided he wanted to ride a camel. He was unsuccessful.
We came across the biggest crossing we had yet seen. By its side there were however tractors. We paid a guy with a tractor ₮10 000 per car to tow us through. It was definitely a worthy investment so late on. We did not want to risk driving our car through.
The road then became very rocky for a while and The Lone Rangers suffered a puncture. Rich said it was probably the worst stretch of road we'd driven on though I'd been asleep. Any bump we now took was now quite scary as we got closer and closer to the finish line. We followed a local down a track on the way in to Bayankhongor. A mistake no doubt as the car took a few hits.
In Bayankhongor we bought supplies in anticipation of our last nights camping. We then headed out of town and drove on a few miles before setting up camp for the night and cooking off the majority of our remaining food.
Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia
Day 41, miles 9349.0 miles. Got to Ulaanbaatar in the evening. Buzzing. Rattles on car disappeared. Gwon Micra. X
With quite a long way to go to Ulaanbaatar we had to have an early start. We had been told however that the road from Arvaikheer however was tarmaced so we felt we could pick up some speed there.
In the morning however we were still driving on sand tracks. The tracks went off in all sorts of funny directions.
When we hit Arvaikheer we filled our cars with petrol from our jerry cans and carried on. There was a sense of relief as we finally hit tarmac again.
It wasn't plain sailing to the finish line as sections of the road had ridiculously big pot holes. Driving at speed with these creeping up on us wasn't ideal.
As night fell we hit the outskirts of Ulaanbaatar. Every corner we went round we expected to see the city pop up. After a few miles or so of driving like this we rounded a corner and saw Ulaanbaatar spring up in front of us. It was an amazing feeling to know that we had actually made it.
We had one final navigation exercise to find the finish line. Ulaanbaatar was a truly hectic city to drive in and it took us quite some time to find where we were going. The finish line finally appeared in front of us much to our delight. Luckily at the finish line there was a hotel and bar - it was ideal!
